If I die a lonely death, I’m sure its from the cigarettes 
I smoked each after you left me, standing all alone 
Alone in my Park Avenue apartment that smelled fresh and new 
The extra set of keys from you are going to the maid. 

The maid has been my only friend, 
She’s always there to apprehend, 
The dust and grim that settles in around the crystal vase. 
The crystal vase, a wedding gift, that through the years has made the shift, 
What once held flowers now holds ash, from my two packs a day. 

Ooo baby she walks with a thorn in her side 
Them big sunglasses on her eyes 
All the uptown girls say “hi, old woman” 
“I can’t take another day of this”, she says 
“All I wanted was a drink and a kiss, 
But I guess I’ll just have to call on my bank ‘cause its Swiss.” 

She never knew no better than to follow her nose 
So I ask for your forgiveness ‘cause I’m part of the show 
Now she’s gone and all she’s left with is a house full of clothes 
Sometimes Madam it’s ok to cry. 

If I die a lonely death, I’m sure its from the cigarettes 
I smoked each after you left me, standing all alone 
Alone in my Park Avenue apartment that smelled fresh and new 
The extra set of keys from you are going to the maid. 

Well she’s probably just a chip off the block 
You know like coffee from a coffee pot 
Well at least she can get away for a while and 
Get some sun on that yacht. 

If I die a lonely death, I’m sure its from the cigarettes 
I smoked each after you left me, standing all alone 
Alone in my Park Avenue apartment that smelled fresh and new 
The extra set of keys from you are going to the maid. 

The maid has been my only friend, 
She’s always there to apprehend, 
The dust and grim that settles in around the crystal vase. 
The crystal vase, a wedding gift, that through the years has made the shift,